A message to a friend about Leben's current situation

I got back into D.C. the evening of Saturday, October 13^th, and, just 12 hours later, picked up with my usual Sunday routine with my dogs and the Sunday papers at Dean and Deluca, albeit two hours later than usual.

Although Leben (my male dog) had not recovered even half his walking ability compared to where he was before his July 17^th surgery (he was walking okay then, but walking), we went ahead with the trip 10 weeks after the surgery and weeks after the conclusion of the healing period with the vet’s concurrence, qualified only by the vet’s moving target for Leben’s recovery from the surgery: first four weeks, then eight weeks, then “many months.” It was actually easier for Leben and for me to manage him on the road since his walks each day were for the most part just a step outside the tent or Land Rover. He was holding his own fairly well, although not really recovering further.

We set up camp in the best sites in seven fantastic Canadian provincial/national parks around the Great Lakes, where we were often the only campers. We had the wilderness all to ourselves, except for the bears, fox, wolves, raccoons, squirrels, and chipmunks. (Not one pesky insect this year.) Of course, this was understandable considering that the temperature at night dipped to the 20s (we had snow several times) and was rarely above 34 at reveille. (Our trip blog was www.ontheroad-2012.blogspot.com)

Unfortunately, three weeks into the trip, over a period of three days, I watched Leben struggle to get up, walk, scratch himself with his rear legs, or even stay standing on his own. His surgery recovery had failed. He is now paralyzed. Since Leben never got back to where he was on the morning before his surgery even on the vet’s stretched recovery schedule, my guess is what happened is that the vet’s well-intentioned but aggressive, four and a half hour surgery chipped away a lot of Leben’s critical mid- and lower-spine nerves and shifted the remaining nerves to make them vulnerable to even conservative normal activity, which best describes his activity on the trip. This probably would have happened sooner at home because conservative normal activity there home would have involved much more than he got on the trip. The vet, of course, does not blame the surgery, but a fall Leben had on October 3rd. A “chicken and egg” dilemma. (I believe Leben fell because his situation was deteriorating already.) The facts that the operation took away Leben’s bladder control, that never advanced beyond the half-way point at four weeks, and that a simple fall 10 weeks after the surgery, far less than the falls he took in the days after surgery as he tried to walk, would cause the paralysis that I hoped to avoid by having the surgery, tell me that the operation was not only unsuccessful in improving Leben’s situation or preventing any further decline, and, worse, probably set Leben up for paralysis sooner. Regardless, I put Leben through the surgery because after reviewing his MRI, knowing what happened to two of my prior male German shepherds, Montag and Sonntag, and seeing the three steps down Leben had taken over the last two years, I was convinced that that Leben would become paralyzed sometime over the next year and that there was a decent chance the surgery could avoid that. (I also knew that he was a chance that the surgery could “make Leben worse”, as the vet told me.) So, Leben is where I expected him to be over the next year without the surgery, but at the cost of 10 hellish weeks for him and more than $15,000. But if that fall on October 3^rd was indeed the cause Leben’s paralysis, and that fall would not have taken place at home under conservative management, which is doubtful, I have no regrets about taking that journey with him and his sister Erde because it was or would have been my last trip with him as a walking dog. And what a trooper he was. And who knows? Maybe if he had not had the surgery, he might have become paralyzed on the trip anyway.

We were 2200 miles from home in Thunder Bay, Ontario, when this happened and, needless to say, the trip home was not a walk in the park. Having been down this road before, though, we made it home successfully, and now all three of us begin a new journey, an entirely new life than the one we left on September 17^th. Of course, as the world’s unsolicited (unwelcomed and undeserved) poster guy for managing a wheelchair-bound paralyzed dog thanks to the two National Geographic articles on my previous paralyzed dog, I have no choice but to keep Leben keep here. But you do not have to get to that since that’s the decision I would have made anyway. This dog has been the consummate loyal, obedient dog, and now it’s my turn to reciprocate. I get him around in a large dog stroller until his wheelchair arrives next week. The truth is that I am thrilled that I am this dog’s guardian now because if this was fated for him and he was most others’ dog, he would no longer be with us. I have already promised him what I promised Sonntag, that I will not put him down because he is a large dog and difficult to manage. I kept my promise to Sonntag, and I will keep it with Leben. We will make it to his finish line together no matter what it takes, except more surgery, of course.

I am no longer concerned about what happened to Leben at or after his surgery, or what would have happened without the surgery. He is paralyzed and no one knows what his chances are for recovery, if any. I am now concerned only with giving him a full life and managing him as a paralyzed dog, which takes six to nine hours a day, the latter when I take him swimming three days a week in Middleburg, Virginia. My three main goals at this point are to keep up his spirit simply by doing everything we did before, albeit differently, to learn how to manage him successfully and either stick with that or improve it, and not to neglect his magnificent sister, Erde. There are and will be other goals, but those three take up a lot of time right now. I hope to keep up this blog about our  new journey for the benefit of those who are faced with a similar situation.

Despite the unwelcome ending to our journey, the ending could have been worse. And nothing will detract from the absolutely extraordinary trip it was in so many respects, for all of us, including Leben. This one for sure will turn out to have been a life-changer. One life-change that I know for sure is that I will never subject any dog of mine to spinal surgery again, having struck out three times now, once, in Leben’s case, where the dog came out worse than when he went in. In the future, I will wait until paralysis occurs and then go immediately to a wheelchair. Sonntag led a full, active life in his wheelchair for three and a half years. Leben is about to do the same for his full life. Why the vets do not suggest this as an option I do not know. Why I did not chose that option myself with Sonntag and now with Leben, I also do not know. But that it no longer a concern of mine either.